Over the last few weeks, as I have read the course materials and heard the stories of my fellow learners, my awareness and understanding of the personal side of bias, prejudice, and oppression.  I now have more resources to help raise awareness in others in my sphere of influence.  

Hopes

I hope for a world in which children can experience life surrounded by care-givers and peers who work to enact the Children's Covenant of Honor and head the "Nine Principles of Child Honoring" (The Covenant, 2019):

 

Raffi's Covenant for Honouring Children

We find these joys to be self-evident: That all children are created whole, endowed with innate intelligence, with dignity and wonder, worthy of respect. The embodiment of life, liberty and happiness, children are original blessings, here to learn their own song. Every girl and boy is entitled to love, to dream and belong to a loving “village.” And to pursue a life of purpose.

We affirm our duty to nourish and nurture the young, to honour their caring ideals as the heart of being human. To recognize the early years as the foundation of life, and to cherish the contribution of young children to human evolution.

We commit ourselves to peaceful ways and vow to keep from harm or neglect these, our most vulnerable citizens. As guardians of their prosperity we honour the bountiful Earth whose diversity sustains us. Thus we pledge our love for generations to come (The Covenant, 2019).

Goals

My goals going forward are to-

1.     Lead staff and children in my school through diversity appreciation and bias awareness exercises;

2.      Set up weekly assemblies in which children learn about individuals who have taken affirmative action to improve the lives of others facing oppression, bias and inequity; and,

3.     Encourage and support students to take action to do what they can themselves to relieve the oppression and inequity in the world.

Thanks

Many thanks to my professor and fellow learners who have been so transparent in sharing their stories, their experience, their questions, and their wisdom. They have all encouraged me to reflect more deeply on my own thoughts and understandings and helped me grow so much.

 

References

The Covenant. (2019, February 06). Retrieved August 17, 2020, from https://raffifoundation.org/child/the-covenant/

Welcoming Families from Around the World

 

I frequently find myself in the scenario of having the privilege of welcoming a child from a country and culture of which I know almost nothing.  In the past, I have inadvertently bulldozed over students' and families' cultural sensitivities until I was forcibly awakened to the fact that different cultures actually have different perspectives. When we began admitting many Korean families into our international school and conflict over handling of several discipline and interpersonal incidents began to increase, the school board sent me and another administrator to Korea to participate in a special Korean cultural exchange program.  The experience was phenomenal. Gently and gracefully, we were introduced to Korean values, age posturing, history, and culture.  It revolutionized the way I interacted with members of the Korean community and gave me a strong empathy for their perspectives.

In their book, Anti-bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves (Derman-Sparks, Edwards, & Goins, 2020), the authors advise,

                When you honor all children’s cultural identities and incorporate them into the

daily life of your program, children come to understand that they are safe and welcome—just

 the way they are. When you value cultural differences while

appreciating the similarities everyone shares as human beings, you create a

foundation for children to thrive in a culturally complex world. To effectively

support children’s and families’ cultural identities, teachers need to strengthen

their understanding of the characteristics of culture (p.116).

With this in mind, if a new student was coming into my kindergarten from a country I was not familiar with, such as Kurdistan, I would immediately do a search online to find any information about the type of government, current political situation, some history, and religion.  I would reach out to members of the community who have traveled to Kurdistan to ask them their understanding of cultural practices, taboos, appropriate greetings for every age posture, and inappropriate body language. I would prepare the staff with the information as well.  The school would already display the flags of every different nationality represented in the school, so we would gather the students to officially add another one and teach them how to say hello to the student in Kurdish so they could greet him when he arrived. Most importantly, before the child came to the school, I would sit with the family and try to explain how we greet people, what the expectations are for the parents regarding meetings, visiting, sending food, etc.  I would encourage the teacher to meet the family, greeting them with a hello in Kurdish. 

I would hope that this would open the soil of the hearts of the current students and the incoming student for a healthy friendship to bloom. I would hope the children and teachers would embrace the child as interesting and accept him instead of seeing him as different and reject him.  I hope it would help the new student to relax and feel comfortable in the learning space.

Derman-Sparks, L., Edwards, J. O., & Goins, C. (2020). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. (2^nd ed.)  Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

As I was making my walk-through rounds in my role of principal, I stepped into a class of first graders sitting at the feet of their Arabic language teacher. She was telling them a story and engaging in class Q&A, calling on students who were raising their hands. Each time she posed a question,  most of the eager first graders would enthusiastically wave their hands in the air to answer. Among them was a sweet little boy from and African country.  As I watched, almost every child on the rug was given one or two chances to answer, all except him-even though he repeatedly raised his hand. It was almost as if he were invisible.  I was so upset for this young boy. 

I knew the teacher was kind and would never say that she had any prejudice, but in my years of living in the Middle East, I know that there exists a deep-seated, inherited bias against dark-skinned people. This is described by Chavez (2005) as internalized oppression. Individuals have so deeply and unconsciously absorbed prejudicial attitudes that they are unconscious of their actions. Historically, Arab peoples have held deep oppressive prejudices against people of African descent. In fact, the word for a black-skinned person is "slave". Discrimination is not seen as a social taboo, so conscious and unconscious prejudicial acts are committed with impunity (Al-Khamri, 2018).

The incident I described was a great inequity for the lovely little boy who wanted to participate in the learning and improve his language skills. The inequitable learning situation in which not all children have a chance to participate in the class is one I watch out for diligently. It is demotivating for the student and gives a subtle message to the other students that plants in the back of their heads; Johnny is not worthy of attention because of his ability or skin color. It enrages me for the child's sake. 

As a person in authority in school, I utilize the power I have to strongly address these inequities and make a change. In this case, I was able to kindly draw attention to the teacher's overlooking of the student and provide her with one or two strategies that would guarantee she would not fall into the same patterns through subconscious bias. I asked her not to call on anyone who had his hand raised, but rather use name sticks or tokens that the students had to use to talk to ensure that each student had an equal chance to participate in every lesson.   Thankfully, she was grateful for the insight and enthusiastically embraced the new equity strategy. It is not always that easy.

Keeping ahead of prejudice and oppression takes energy and vigilance to act when we see it. It takes courage and tact to open the eyes of those who are engaging in oppressive behaviors and gently show them the way forward.

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

As I listened to a lecture on microaggressions by Dr. Derald Wing Sue, a professor of psychology and education at Columbia University (Laureate Education, 2011), so many light bulbs came on in my head. All the behaviors I have been observing that deeply disturbed me in the international school setting where I work finally had a name: microaggressions.  Microaggressions are ,"verbal behaviors that create feelings of uncertainty and inferiority and marginalization, even though no offence was consciously intended" (Laureate Education, 2011, :24). They are harmful on many levels; the person who delivers the  microaggression is not aware of the underlying attitude that is being conveyed; the person on the receiving end of the microaggression is hurt in a deep way; and, the relationship between the two is damaged or destroyed over time (Laureate Education, 2011).

In the span of my career at international schools, I have observed countless microaggressions, and if I must be honest, have probably been the perpetrator of countless more. One example comes to mind, one that saddens me so.  The school was set up for western NGOs who are mainly of the Christian faith. In one class, we had a beautiful little girl whose mother was a Christian from Asia and her father, a Muslim from the Middle East.  The girl's teacher, a loving, well-intentioned woman from a Christian background, would often talk to the students about the lost Muslims and how they need to be saved from Hell. The girl would go home every night and cry, expressing confusion to her parents. She interpreted the things the teacher was telling the class as "Muslims are bad". How could the grandmother and aunts and uncles who were so loving and kind to her be evil and bad? She was deeply traumatized.  When the administration heard of this, they tried to help the teacher understand how what she was saying was impacting the girl.  We sent the girl to the school counselor for awhile to try to help her. The mirror image of that experience happened to my children when they attended local schools where Islam is the dominant religion. 

Seifert (2007) talks about the implications of Christian privilege in the United States and how, unconsciously, the dominance of Christian religious architecture, cultural observations, and assumption of rights can marginalize those of other religions.  This is true, but Christians do not have a monopoly on asserting their religious privilege. In each area of the world, Hindu privilege, Muslim privilege, Buddhist privilege, Jewish privilege, etc. etc. is having an impact on marginalizing the religious minority others.  It is endemic in human societies.

How can we make a difference? We educators need to be the change. Self-education and introspection is where I will begin. Where am I projecting microaggression? When I observe it happening in the classroom, workroom, or playground, I must have the courage to intervene, to help others realize what it is they are doing to another human, to give alternatives.  As I have the knowledge now, I have the responsibility to be the change. We all do.

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

I asked three people for their definition of diversity and culture, a Palestinian, Christian, middle-aged male, a Palestinian, Muslim, female, thirty-something Palestinian, and an Anglo-Saxon, Christian, twenty-something, American.

The first person responded, "Culture is a set of values and habits that people start doing, and they keep on doing. They would be difficult to change later. Diversity is differences, being different".

The second person's response was similar. "Culture is, the ideas, the customs or social behaviors as part of a society. Diversity a range of different things. I think the culture of each society would make this diversity because each culture has, even small things that are different than the other.

The third person responded, "Culture includes but is not limited to a group's ideals, beliefs, customs, practices, values and mythologies. Each person is a part of many cultures, and some of our cultures may play bigger roles in our lives than others, and this balance may shift over the course of our life. Culture helps inform who we are in the world, and we reproduce and contribute to our various cultures. Although culture is typically thought to pass from one generation to the next, it also passes intragenerationally—especially with the internet which allows for easy contact between groups that were once isolated from each other. Diversity is the variety that allows for the sustainability and advancement of natural and human systems. A group or system can be diverse in countless ways including ethically, socioeconomically, religiously, linguistically, by age, gender, skill sets, and much more".

All the responses touched on some aspects of culture and diversity that have been discussed in this course. The third person added an interesting idea not discussed before, that the balance of aspects of our culture may shift over the course of our lives.  It takes culture out of the realm of a static fact and into the realm of a living, growing aspect of who we are. I have found this to be true as I have moved into different cultural circles as I began living in different countries and taking on their cultural worldviews.  Culture can be static too if a person does not have the opportunity to move or the desire to embrace a new cultural point of view or way of living when presented. I have met women who have married into a new culture but have maintained a static culture stance. They did not embrace the customs or language of their husband's culture. They remain always on the outside and miss out on knowing the culture in a more intimate, relatable way if they had added on a new layer of cultural identity.  

The definitions of diversity reflect the cultural context of each responder.  The topic of diversity is in the news, taught in schools and propounded universities especially in North America and Europe. It is not generally discussed in the Middle East, at least in my experience here. The first two responders, both life-long residents of the Middle East gave a textbook answer which reflected their understanding and interest in the topic. To a culture that has had to survive by emphasizing the collective and similar cultural characteristics to live in harmony, diversity can be there, but must be de-emphasized to avoid conflict. The American included a more in-depth discussion that included some of the ideas of individual diversity that we have been discussing in this course.  Like the Middle East, the West has been struggling with conflict among diverse cultures, but instead of pushing diversity to the side, they are educating, celebrating and working for society to embrace diversity in order to avoid conflict.  I think each approach has its merits based on the cultural context. 

My Family Culture: Facing Disaster

My Family Culture: Facing Disaster

In the past six years, I have been witness to the horror of sudden catastrophe as the so-called Islamic State terrorist organization moved through the region committing atrocities and displacing hundreds of thousands of families. In the church nursery where I volunteer once a week, Mother after Iraqi mother spilled out the tales of horror as the Christian population of Iraq had less than twenty-four hours' notice to respond to the ultimatum: leave the country or convert to Islam or pay the ransom tax, or be killed. Families crammed in their cars if they had them, grabbing whatever valuables that could be of use to them, and headed toward the border. Along the way, they were stopped, stripped of everything they owned, money, food items, and their vehicles, and sent on their way, walking. If they were lucky, the women avoided being raped and the men killed or conscripted into the ISIS army. It was beyond traumatizing.

What would I take with me in such a scenario? Knowing that all material valuables will most likely be either stolen or needed to be used for obtaining resources, I would swallow as much gold as I could tolerate. In the Middle East, gold is a common gift and way to save up for a rainy day, so most households stash a good supply. A phone, photo albums, any other item would become a burden to carry or a risk for attack. I would include a backpack style, high capacity water reservoir, and some sort of small, solar charger, if for some reason, I would be able to keep my phone.  That's is all I could expect to possibly keep. In the worst, and most probably case scenario based on the realities of sudden displacement and the stories I heard from those who experienced these traumas, all I would have is the gold that I had swallowed. The practical approach, giving up all ideas of attachment to sentimental possessions before hand would protect my heart from breaking. I would mourn their loss much, much later.

This pragmatic, unsentimental approach is no surprise for me. My parents, both children of the Great Depression in the United States and the World War 2 era, were very practical. They were second generation immigrants and the offspring of pioneers. My mother would save a spoonful of leftovers from a dinner bowl. When my father passed away, I cleaned out his shed which was full from floor to ceiling with small bits of copper pipe, wire, recycled nails, and small pieces of leftover everything. Waste not, want not, we were told on a daily basis. Don't buy it if you don't need it. My romantic soul baulked at this Spartan approach to life.

When I was in high school, we moved to the Mid-West.  We drove through the countryside looking for our new home. I remember one old rambling farmhouse that caught my imagination. Growing up in a simple log cabin, I had always dreamed of fixing up an "antique" house and all the fun of discovering hidden spaces. My pleas to purchase the old farmhouse were soundly beaten down with, "It is impractical. Too hard to heat in the winter." I was devastated and vowed to never let the practical drown out my romantic ideals.  Forty years down the line, I realize how much I have, despite my romantic notions, always defaulted to the pragmatic decision. This subconscious stance has allowed me to live simply and take the higher ground in financial decision making. My husband and I now own our home free and clear and have been able to put our children through university free and clear as well. My parents would be proud. 

I still cling to my romantic soul and long to be free to live a crazy life full of romantic, emotion-driven choices. The only problem is, whenever I have followed this heart, I feel guilty. At the end of the movie, Sense and Sensibility, I wept buckets knowing that I was just forever programmed to make the sensible decision and would not follow my heart as the characters were finally able to do. I don't think I will ever be able to change.  It is part of my heritage.  

Family culture transcends race, nationality, and ethnicity. The ideo-syncretic characteristics of each spouse, born of circumstances beyond their control, meld to form a unique flavor of the family which is passed down to their children.

My Supports

My Supports

Support means different things to different people. My husband and I would frequently fall out over that word before I realized that we have two different paradigms in our heads for the concept of support. To my pastor husband, it means attending every event for which he has responsibilities and listening, not challenging the points he wants to make. For me, it means making sure he is fed, has clean clothes, and providing ideas for his sermons, challenging points that need attention, and not nagging him for being away all the time. When we try to support each under with the qualifications of our definitions, it has the opposite affect; we each end up feeling not supported. Chapman (2017) describes these varying support needs as different love languages. When we are not supported in our love language, we become disheartened and feel unloved and unsupported. This is demotivating for relationships and, taking it into the workplace, productivity. We all need to feel loved. We feel loved when we feel supported. As our relationship has matured, my husband and I have learned to think and act from the other's point of need when trying to offer support. At work, I have felt quite supported when I was directing a play or running the school and the staff and parents all came alongside to serve all the different needs to make the productions a success such as painting sets, bringing me meals, or speaking an encouraging word. I learned my children's love languages and make sure I am supporting them in a way that fills up their love tanks and makes them feel supported (Chapman, 2017). I tried to incorporate that into my service to my staff as a principal as well.

As I look forward to the new venture of opening a kindergarten, I imagine that I will need a good amount of support in areas in which I have no expertise and areas in which I am weak, such as financial planning and management. Starting a new venture also means that I will need a lot of support on the home front, understanding when I am emotionally and mentally drained at the end of the day and not in the mood of cooking or doing the dishes, listening support when frustrations build or joys overflow, and practical support for tasks such as moving furniture.  

These supports, whether they be as practical or emotional, are so essential to the amount of courage and ambition I have to confidently continue on in a course of action.  When others believe in what someone is doing, they show their agreement by coming alongside, speaking and acting on their belief in whatever the cause. I am motivated because I feel loved. It is a lesson I want to carry into how I support and encourage others around me.

Chapman, G. D. (2017). The 5 love languages: The secret to love that last. Christian Art Publishers.